Answers to Those Thinking About Signing Up for the Social Nihilist Movement

A movement grows in reverse proportion to its rate of official pronouncements, but with several milestones recently reached since the official promulgation of the Fun Social Nihilist global initiative, the board of directors of FSN has issued a call for consensual movement-building Q&A focus group sessions across the world’s beachfront hotspots, and the following distillation of those intense research sessions should give clarity to movement suffering from too much growth, too soon.

Can a social nihilist –

A. own a leaf blower?

FSN Board of Ethics review Answer: No. A social nihilist cannot own a leaf blower, even if given to him or her or communal household. Climate catastrophe awaits from rampaging overue of fossil fuel as supertanker, airline, individual car transport, and heat energy. If someone owns a house, by circumstance usually that of their sueprior spouse’s earning capacity as a non-nihilist, then the leaves can be raked by had. There’s aood workput ot be had in each weekned’s two hours of raking/moving. If there are too mnay leaves to allow for that old-fashioned raking, then then land i needs to be sold to campesinos.

Can a social nihilist –

B. be a professor?

FSN Board of Ethics review Answer: No.  In the great and gone days of the late 60’s and 70’s, there were numerous popular cultural offerings for the young tyro/aspiring intellectual- sports, pornography, television, smoking dope, skateboarding, low-level thievery, and more television. The cultish, abstruse veneration of classical theory and French decosntructionism would have been of monomaniacal importance only to those kept in a Skinnerian box or humiliated by physical handicap beyond belief. Reading, while a necessary and beneficial practice for those not gifted with supersocial powers, could be any flavor or grade, from the low pulps of crime fiction to the slightly higher Southern neo-gothic yarns of bulletheaded Harry Crews.  Who could be such a syllabus-studier only,  when the Information Age was pouring forth such a deluge of diversions that came with the added pedigree of substantial sex, or violence, or lower-class ribaldry? Who couldn’t see through the hollowness of the noblesse oblige educator’s scam of edumacation, when there was no money in the academy, no intact families among the professoriate, and plenty of depression to go around the quads?

Can a social nihilist –

C. be a leading theoretician?

FSN Board of Ethics review Answer: Yes, but only as  a terrible-job-holding nobody.
Neither the MacArthur nor the Nobel committees, at this present moment, have recognized the field of social nihilism as standing above and over philosophy. Humans can possess incredible experience and intuitive intelligence without having been dipsomaniacs for Greek mythology or Foucault, or having gotten anywhere in the world’s bureaucracies, being constitutionally incapable, as social nihilists, of mustering anything more than dulled silence in performance of their dubious duties. There is no curriculum vitae to speak of on the part of any true social nihilist – it’s a lot blanks, a lot of staying at one level, outwitting the hounds but acquiring no chairmanships of the American Sociological Association, for cheesy example. Lawns got mowed, grandkids got chaperoned to the last of the American theme parks, but deeply and correctly, in APA footnote style, research tomes? No way. Why should anyone give the world of thought more than mere ounces of their precisely calibrated hides?

Can a social nihilist –

D. be a  theist, or belong to theist organizations?

FSN Board of Ethics review Answer: No.

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